Dealing with libido differences
性行活難以協調是很多雜誌與博客網站最常提及到的問題。尋找一個能夠在情感上及生活習慣上與你配合得來，已經非常困難的事；因此，性生活上的一致經常被忽略，不過，這其實不是一個完全不能補救的問題。
Libido mismatch is one of the most common problems seen in magazines and blogging websites. Finding someone who you are compatible with on an emotional and lifestyle level is hard enough. Sharing the same sex drive can often be overlooked – but it needn't be an irreparable problem.
人們渴望性有不同的原因：受某種吸引力影響、感情的肯定、希望得到情感上的注意、紓解壓力，或者單單是生理上的需求。無論任何原因，都無對錯之分。可能你在星期一晚上因為某些原因想與某人發生關係，而星期五你卻希望與別的人做愛。不過，了解你們產生性慾的原因可以幫助解決性生活不協調的問題，令事情更容易控制。
People crave sex for different reasons: affection, validation of attractiveness and desirability, attention, distraction, stress relief or simply orgasm. None of these is right or wrong, and indeed, you may well want sex for one reason on a Monday night and quite another by Friday. However, understanding why you both want sex can help make libido mismatch easier to handle.
如果你的愛侶希望以性來紓解壓力，「按摩」也可以是你們在性以外的選擇；如果是因為生理需要，這有很多方法都能為男女帶來快感，不一定必須進行陰道性交；如果伴侶是因為希望確定你的愛意或是對你的一種讚美，而想以性來表達的話，你需要明白愛情是在你倆之間確實存在的，很多方法都可以滿足對方在愛情上的心理需求，例如彼此晚上在沙發上親密地擁抱亦能令對方感受愛意。
If your lover wants sex as stress relief, a massage may provide an alternative that suits you both. If it's about orgasm, there are plenty of ways to pleasure a man or woman that don't involve penetrative sex. Should affection be the objective, an evening cuddling up on the sofa may sate the needs; and if it's about validation, bring on the compliments.
如果你的伴侶沒有性愛的興緻，對方便容易覺得你沒有吸引力；但這種情況的問題是出於對方身上多於在你身上－壓力、沮喪、某些藥物（合法與非法的）與不健康的生活習慣都是令性慾減少的其中一些原因。當然他的性慾下降亦有可能是認為你不夠吸引力，但很多時根本問題是在於對方身上，給予對方關懷比你獨自不安更有用。
It can be easy to feel unattractive if your partner doesn't want sex but it's more likely to be about them than you. Stress, depression, certain pharmaceuticals (both legal and illegal) and an unhealthy lifestyle are just a few of the reasons someone might go off sex. While it is possible that a partner has ceased to find you attractive, it's more likely they've got their own issues going on, and being empathetic and caring will be a lot more useful than getting needy or insecurity.
媒體將男性定型為性飢渴，而女性則為「抗拒者」；但現實是，男性有時也會沒有心情及興緻。開心見誠的溝通與坦誠的討論將會更容易解決性生活的不協調。如果其中涉及一些根本問題，應該諮詢專業人士的建議。
While the media portrays men as sex-hungry and women as resistant, in reality, men are just as likely to have times when they're not in the mood. Open communication and honest discussion will help make differences in libido easier to deal with. If there are deep-rooted issues, counselling may help.
自慰已經被證實可以提高人的性慾，所以，如果你感到你的性慾下降，而沒有其他方法可以解決，嘗試定期自慰可以令你重新燃起慾望。
Masturbation has been shown to increase people's sex drive so if you feel your desire waning and there are no other issues to contend with, simply indulging in more regular self-pleasure may help you kick-start your sex drive again.
很多人發覺他們因為雙方關係的前進而失去了興趣，最初因為新鮮感而引起的性慾亦慢慢減退。有很多方法都可以令關係重新回復激情及浪漫－當問題出現後，你愈早解決，你的性生活亦能愈早重回軌道。
Many people find they lose interest in sex as a relationship progresses, after the initial rush of lust has passed. However, there are lots of ways to bring the romance and spice back into your relationship – and the sooner you tackle the problem after it emerges, the sooner your sex life is likely to be back on track.
“Open communication and honest discussion will help make differences in libido easier to deal with.”
