時機就是一切 Timing is Everything

你對性愛準備好了嗎?  Are you ready for sex?    每個人都在不同的階段才能夠對性愛作好充份準備,一切只有你自己才能明白。以下的問題列表可以幫助你了解自己是否已對性愛作好準備,如果你對問題的答案有任何疑問,你最好再等待一下。 畢竟,你的第一次只有一次。  Everyone is ready for sex at a different stage and only you can know if it's right for you. This checklist will help you decide whether you're ready. If you have any doubts, it's better to wait. You only get one first time, after all.    對於「與別人發生性行為」這一主意,你感到自然嗎?  Do you feel happy at the idea of having sex?    你覺得無論在身體上、情緒上與心理上,都準備好迎接性行為嗎?  Do you feel physically, emotionally and mentally ready for sex?    你知道什麼是性愛承擔嗎?插入式的性行為只是給予對方性快樂的其中一種方法,為對方口交及手淫也是一種樂趣。但必須謹記,口交亦有機會感染性病毒,因此你亦需要配合安全套或口腔保護膜覆蓋該部位。  Do you know what sex entails? Penetrative sex is just one way to give each other sexual pleasure, but oral sex and manual play can both be fun too. Just remember, oral carries risks of Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI's) too so you'll still need to use a condom or dental dam (square of latex) to cover the area.    你信任和尊重你的伴侶,亦認為對方亦一樣嗎?  Do you trust and respect your partner, and think that they feel the same way about you?    你有信心你可以堅持進行安全性行為嗎?在每一次的性行為,你都有機會懷孕或使人懷孕,或接觸到性病毒,包括首次性行為,因此安全的性行為很重要。  Are you confident that you can insist on safe sex? You can get pregnant/get someone pregnant and/or contract STIs every time you have sex, including the first time.  對於性行為的地點及時機,你感到愉快嗎?你的伴侶亦感到舒適嗎?  Do you feel happy with the location and timing? And does your partner feels the same way?  你了解發生性行為後的後果嗎?而對方亦明白這一切嗎?如果明白的話,你認為你可以解決這些可能發生的後果嗎?  Are you aware of the possible outcomes of sex? And is the person you're considering having sex with? If so, do you feel ready to deal with any issues that may arise?  你對於性行為有任何憂慮嗎?如果有,你曾經與你的伴侶討論過嗎?  Is there anything that scares you about having sex and, if so, have you discussed this with your partner?  你希望進行性行為是因為你認為你已經準備好,還是害怕拒絕性行為會導致失去伴侶?  Do you want sex because you feel ready or because you're worried you may lose your partner if you don't?  這一切感覺是對的嗎?你的內心是最值得傾聽的── 如果事情感覺不太對,在作一個錯誤決定之前,你可能需要再等多一點時間。  Does it feel right? Your gut instinct is worth listening to – if something doesn't feel quite as it should be, you may want to wait a little longer before making a decision you might regret.     “Do you feel ready to deal with any issues that may arise?” 
2021-12-29

性愛及懷孕 我的屁股看起來夠大嗎? Does my bum look big in this?

普遍女性的不安  Common Female Insecurities     女性無論看起來有多堅強,每一位都總會為一些事情而不安。以下是一些最普遍的憂慮。  Every woman feels insecure about something, no matter how confident she may seem. Here are some of the most common concerns.    胸部尺寸: 太小?太大?不夠勻稱?電視、電影及雜誌都鼓吹擁有豐滿胸部為完美女性,但很多女性並沒有這樣的胸部。其實,對自己的身材充滿自信的女性,往往比以整形手術來達到目標的性感得多。你可以放心,男人看女人的胸部通常只是想:「喔!胸部!」多於嚴厲的批評。如果你愛護你的身體,其他人亦會如此。你只需要確保你穿上適合的、具承托力的胸圍,令你的胸部得到足夠的保護便可。    Breast size: Too small? Too big? Not symmetrical enough? TV, films and magazines tend to feature big-boobed 'perfect' breasted women but most women don't have boobs like that. Being confident about your body is far sexier than aiming for the plastic-fantastic ideal. Rest assured that a guy is more likely to be thinking 'way-hey, boobs', than judging you harshly. If you love your body, other people will too. Just make sure you have a correctly fitting bra to ensure your boobs get the support they need.    身材問題: 媒體將女性美規範為:纖瘦、不臃腫、沒有多餘脂肪及一副不健康的細身型尺寸。可是,現實中對自己身材感到滿意的女性,遠比一些早已有完美身型卻苦苦自我挑剔的女性吸引,因此,接受自己比其他都來得重要。健康就是最好,你不一定像一位模特兒,才叫有吸引力。    Body issues: The media pushes a stereotype of female beauty: slim, without lumps and bumps, no cellulite and, frequently an unhealthily small body size. However, a real woman who's happy with herself will be far more attractive than someone who's 'flawless' but obsessed with perfection. Accept yourself for the way you are. Being healthy is great, but you don't need to look like a glamour model to be attractive.    表現: 很多女性都擔心自己的床上表現不夠熟練。當然訓練自己手及口的技術的確好(切記要以安全為上),但別忘了性愛是雙向的。你應該與你的伴侶溝通,而且分享你的愛好:如果你太緊張,就難以令你達到高潮,所以表現不夠熟練的話,不必感到內疚。如果你的男伴一時未能勃起,或者太快射精,也不必自責。當男伴有所憂慮,亦會影響表現。不要將問題放大,這些問題有很多解決的方法。不過,假如以上問題持續困擾著你,鼓勵你的男伴去諮詢醫生,以保證一切正常。    Performance: Many women worry about being skilled enough in bed. While it's good to hone your manual and oral skills (remembering to keep it safe) sex is a two-way process. Communicate with your partner, and share what you like: it can be hard to come, particularly if you're nervous, so don't feel guilty if it takes some effort. If your man has a hard time getting it up or comes too quickly, don't blame yourself. Men get insecure too, and that can affect sex. Don't make a big deal out of it and the problem is a lot more likely to go away. However, if it's a persistent issue, encourage your man to go to the doctor to make sure nothing's wrong.    “Being healthy is great but you don't need to look like a celeb to be attractive.” 
2021-12-29

再來一次? Come again?

了解高潮  Understanding Orgasm      性高潮是性愛帶給身體的禮物。不過,如果你疲倦、不適、不良的飲食習慣、酗酒、吸煙或服用藥物,就會影響高潮的效果。簡單而言, 只有健康的身體才能帶來健康的高潮。  An orgasm is the body's way of rewarding us for sex. However, if you're sleepy, unfit, have a poor diet, drink, smoke or take drugs, these can all affect your ability to come. A healthy body leads to healthy climax.    如果你對性愛並未作出充分的心理準備,又或者擔心懷孕 (查閱避孕方法),又或之前有創傷的經驗,都可以令你難以得到性高潮。如果你是以上情況,請諮詢你的家庭醫生,得到相關的協助。  You may also find climax tricky because you're not really ready for sex; because you're nervous about getting pregnant (check out our contraception guide); or because you've had a traumatic experience. If so, see your GP as you can then be referred to the most useful service.    你亦完全有可能發現伴侶難以令你有性高潮,甚至認為自慰更容易帶來高潮,這是正常情況。你愈認識你的身體,將會愈容易與你的伴侶共同進入性高潮。  Even if you're not ready to have an orgasm with a partner, it's entirely possible – and often a lot easier – to have an orgasm on your own.  The better you know your own body, the easier it will be for you to climax with a partner.    高潮的四個階段  The Four Stages of Orgasm    1.喚起期  血液流向你的咀唇、乳頭及其他部位。你的生殖器官會有漲起及變得深色的情況,同時感覺興奮。女性開始變得濕潤,而男人則可能會從陰莖中漏出少量精液。你的脈搏和呼吸會加快,同時你的身體及面部亦會變得通紅。  如果你沒有變得濕潤,杜蕾斯情趣潤滑劑可以幫助你在這一階段進行得更暢順,它可以給你提供足夠的濕潤度去令前戲更舒適及讓你更容易進入狀態。     1. Arousal  Blood flows to your lips, nipples and bits. Your genitals will swell and darken in colour, feeling tingly. Women may start to get wet, and men may leak pre-cum from the penis; your pulse and breathing quicken and you may become flushed.  Top Tip: If you don't get wet, Durex Play lubricant can help make this stage go more smoothly, by providing moisture to make foreplay comfortable and give the body a bit of a kick start.     2. 高原期(激情維持期)  女性的陰道頂端打開,同時子宮亦準備迎接精子。血液衝向胸部令乳頭變硬及乳房漲大,同時陰蒂亦會凸出。至於男性,尿道功能會暫時停止,取而代之是陰莖底部的肌肉開始有反應、睪丸收緊。    2. Plateau  In women, the top of the vagina opens up, and womb shifts in preparation to receive sperm.  Blood rushes to the chest making nipples harden and breasts swell. The clitoris pulls back against the pubic bone and the hood (like a male foreskin) slides back to expose the tip. For men, the urethral sphincter (hole in the centre of the glands) contracts to stop urine from leaking out and the muscles at the base of the penis start pulsing. The testicles tighten.    3. 高潮期  男性射出精液,女性陰道則肌肉斷續地收縮及放鬆(每0.8秒一下),心跳率及呼吸頻率增加,同時肛門亦會進入抽搐。高潮過後,接觸陰蒂及龜頭可能會出現痛楚。    3. Climax  Men ejaculate and women's vaginal muscles contract and release spasmodically (at 0.8 second intervals), the heartbeat and breathing rate increase and the anus goes into spasm. After climax, the clitoris and head of the penis can become painfully sensitive to touch.    4. 消退期  高潮過後,身體開始再度放鬆,回復正常狀態。男性可能會充滿睡意(女性亦有這個情況),或者你們真的需要緊緊偎依。    4. Resolution  This is when the body relaxes after orgasm and gets back to normal. Men may fall asleep (as may women) or you may feel a real need to snuggle. 
2021-12-29

性愛混合 Mixing It Up

給舊的體位帶出新的姿勢  Bringing a new twist to old positions  大部份情侶在性愛的時候,都只會使用3個不同的性愛體位,這都可能會令一切成為慣常;為以往慣常的體位加入一些簡單的變化,會帶給你的性生活有全新的感覺。你不會知道一個小小的改變究竟會不會為你帶來無限的靈感,因此為何不作出更多的改變?  Most couples only have sex in three different sex positions, which can sometimes lead to getting in a rut. These simple tricks will help you bring new life into your old favourite positions. Who knows – a small change could be enough to inspire more acrobatic experimentation too.    改變場地。即使是傳教士體位的性愛,如果在廚房的桌面上進行,亦會帶來無窮的刺激,而且,不同的家具會令你的體位動作隨之改變,男性進入時,就會接觸到不同的敏感點,令探索更輕易。  Change location. Even missionary style sex can feel a lot more adventurous if you're doing it on the kitchen table – and different furniture puts your bodies in different positions so you'll hit different hot spots: exploration made easy.    在性愛時使用枕頭。在進行傳教士體位,將它放在女性的臀部及屁股底下,陰莖可以更深入的進入女性體內;在進行後背式的體位時,將它放在她的胸膛底下,可以給女方作支撐,把身體更能向後推;又或在女上男下的體位時,枕頭放在男性的屁股下,這可以令陰莖更能到達G點。  Use pillows during sex. Place them under the woman's hips or buttocks during missionary-style sex to deepen penetration; underneath her chest during doggie style sex to give her more stability to push back from; or use them under the man's hips during woman on top sex to help him aim for the G-spot.    在進行「牛女」的性愛體位時,在她的臀部繫上領帶,男方手握領帶的尾部。這可以在她壓向下時將她向上拉,令她的陰蒂在男性的恥骨上更受刺激,及以增加陰莖深入陰道內的深度。  Drape a tie across a woman's hips during cowgirl sex and hold each end. This can then be used to pull her down as she grinds, giving her more clitoral stimulation against the man's pubic mound, and increasing the depth of penetration.    嘗試新的抽插方式。你可以嘗試每3次用力的抽插,再後3次輕力的抽插方式;又或10次挑逗的,再來5次深深的抽插。感受不同的韻律,看看那種節奏你最有感覺。  Try new thrusting patterns. Try three long thrusts and three shallow ones, or ten teasing ones then five deep ones. Experiment with different rhythms to see which works for you.    在鏡子之前做愛。無論你用什麼體位,自己被對方燃起性慾時,能夠看著對方,以及在對方的眼睛中看到自己,都是非常興奮的。當然,你可以給自己做到最有畫面感的動作。  Have sex in front of a mirror. No matter what the position, being able to look each other, and yourself in the eye while you get it on can be hot. And of course, you can tailor the position to give yourselves the most graphic view.    再「濕」一點。在開始性愛之前,倒一些潤滑劑在你愛人的身體上,之後再看看它究竟給你倆有幾多的濕潤…..  Get wetter: Pour lube all over your lover's body before you start having sex, then see just how wet they can get you too…    蒙眼性愛。蒙眼者未能預知下一步,可以增加性興奮。雙方輪流蒙眼,可以一起體驗不同的快感。  Have sex blindfolded. Being unable to see what's coming next can add a sexy thrill for the blindfolded partner. Take it in turns so you can both experience the different sensation.    使用性玩具,增添刺激及情趣,,如果女性使用震動器,女性更易達到高潮。  Use a pleasure ring. It keeps a man's erection stronger for longer and can help the woman come more easily if she's into vibrations.    使用凸點縲紋裝。設計可以令女性快一點達到高潮。  Use Mutual Pleasure condoms. Designed to slow him down and speed her up.    “Experiment with different rhythms to see which works for you.”   
2021-12-29

「我愛你多於 生活本身」 “I love you more than life itself”

  性愛與坦承  Sex and Honesty    很多人認為伴侶間的忠誠,只是需要你誠實地對待你的伴侶便可,例如直接說出你去了酒吧,而不說你是因為工作到很晚。事實上,在於兩性關係,真正的誠實並不止如此–為確保你達至健康的關係,就是要避免這段關係出現謊言。  It's easy to assume sexual honesty is just about being faithful to your partner and telling the truth about staying in the pub for one too many, rather than saying you were working late. However, real sexual honesty goes deeper and is one of the best ways of ensuring you have a healthy relationship – so avoid these relationship lies.    「我沒事。」很多人為了避免衝突,很多時都會隱藏自己的感覺,相信一個好伴侶應犧牲自己的需要。偶爾善意的謊言(例如:「不,你的屁股看來不大。」)是合適的,但經常將你伴侶放在第一位,只會引來厭煩。但當然這不是說你需要挑剔你的伴侶:你只需要坦承自己的感覺–並不要把感覺投射你的伴侶身上。與其說「你又再晚回家了!」,不如說「我覺得你好像沒有將事情的變化告訴我,並將它成為慣常。」這樣一來,你就可能不會得到一個激動的反應,但仍能說出你的想法。  "I'm fine." Many people avoid conflict by hiding their feelings, believing a good partner sacrifices their own needs. While the occasional white lie ("No, your bum doesn't look big in that") can be thoughtful, continually putting your partner first will lead to resentment. That doesn't mean you have to snipe: simply be honest about how you feel – and own those feelings for yourself rather than projecting them onto a partner. Rather than saying, "You're thoughtless for being late home," say, "I feel taken for granted when you change plans last minute without telling me." That way, you're less likely to get a defensive reaction but you're also being true to yourself.    「啊,啊,啊。」男人和女人都可以假扮高潮的聲音,一切都是為免傷害戀人的感情,(或是結束過長的床上時間)。但是,如果你假扮高潮,伴侶便會以他們做了正確的事情,下一次更可能再做同樣的行動,因為他以為「這成功了」。相反,指導你的伴侶如何使你達到高潮,或者承認您是太累/緊張/喝醉,因此沒有達至高潮。性愛不代表雙方必須擁有高潮;但假扮高潮長遠來說,總是會令性愛更糟。  "Ooh, ooh, aah." Men and women can both fake it to avoid hurting a lover's feelings, (or end a sex session that's taking too long). However, if you fake it, a lover will assume they're doing the right thing – and probably do the same again next time because 'it worked'. Instead, guide your partner towards doing what will get you off, or admit you're too tired / stressed / drunk to climax. Sex doesn't have to lead to mutual climax and faking it will almost always lead to worse rather than better sex long term.    「我很樂意這樣做。」不同的人有不同的慾望,但不代表你必須答應伴侶的性要求。如果你不喜歡對方提出的性要求,你應該坦誠提出(不要對對方有偏見的評論)。同時你亦要接受一些你想做,但你的伴侶卻不想嘗試的事情。妥協只是任何關係的一部分,如果有些東西你感到不舒服,你應有自己的立場。真正的兩性關係不只要說「是」,有時亦要說「不」。  "I'm happy to do that." Different people have different desires but just because a partner asks you to do something sexual, you don't have to say yes. If you don't like the idea of a sex act, be honest (without being judgemental). And accept it if your lover isn't into something you'd like to try too. Compromise is a part of any relationship but if you're not comfortable about something, it's better to stand your ground. Real sexual confidence is as much about saying "No," as saying, "Yes."    一個健康的戀愛關係是建基於信任、感情和尊重,所以,如果你,確實尊重你的伴侶,便要說出真話,這份信任會令你倆的關係更堅實。  A healthy, loving relationship is based on trust, affection and respect, so pay your lover the respect of telling the truth and the trust they give you in return will be based on much more solid ground.    "Real sexual confidence is as much about saying “No,” as saying, “Yes.”” 
2021-12-29

俏皮 但感覺很好 Naughty But Nice

   一起得到更多性愛的靈感  Using erotic inspirations together  現今,性愛資源絕對比從前來得豐富。雖然有部份人反對色情影片,但我們確實不需要剝削觀看任何東西的權利。市面上仍然有很多這方面的資源是乎合道德的,內容為正面的性愛及反映真實的性內容,而不是某些色情描寫。  Now, more than ever before, there's a wealth of erotic material available to enjoy. While some people are anti porn, there's no need to watch anything exploitative in this day and age. There's plenty of material available that's ethically produced, sex positive and reflects real sex rather than porno stereotypes. And that's before you even take into account the glut of home-produced films that people willingly share online every day.    最典型的看法是男性是視覺動物,而女性則依賴文字。現時的情色小說確實有很多女性讀者,而研究亦表示,對性愛描寫,女性其實與男性一樣,亦會被其挑起性慾。其實,很多男性都喜歡看情色小說。如果你喜歡聽一些非甜言蜜語的情色說話,市面上亦有無數的情色語音小說及頻道,內容完全涵蓋了你能夠想像到的性愛內容。當然,你亦可以看一些專為睡眠時間而設的情色故事,雖然並不保證它們真的會令你有一個良好的睡眠之夜……  The stereotypical view suggests that men get off on visuals and women get off on words, but while it's true to say that modern erotic novels have a mass female following, research has shown women get just as aroused by visual depictions of sex as men do. Conversely, many men enjoy reading erotic stories. And if you like the idea of hearing not-so-sweet words whispered in your ear, there are countless erotic audio books and podcasts available, covering almost every kind of sex you could imagine. Of course, you can always read each other erotic bedtime stories too – though there's no guarantee they'll lead to a good night's sleep…    很多專家都提議情侶們運用一些色情的資料去令雙方的性慾及激情得到平衡。不過,這確實是應該先與你的伴侶討論:突然拿出色情的播片或你秘密愛好的色情物品可能會令對方感到反感。你可以與伴侶討論一下你倆共同喜歡的東西,又或一起上網瀏覽網頁,互相以文字交換搜尋一些你倆平日不想宣之於口的東西。你跟你的愛侶分享幻想時,最好先由最輕微的開始,然後觀察對方的反應,再決定以後分享幻想的瘋狂程度。  Many counsellors recommend erotic materials to couples looking to balance libidos or spice up their relationships. However, it's worth discussing with your partner first: suddenly revealing a porn playlist or your secret fetish may not be well received. Talk about the sort of things that you both enjoy, or browse together online taking it in turns to type in search terms if you're too shy to talk about it out loud. As with sharing any fantasies, it's best to start off with the milder end of your desires and only work your way up to your wilder preferences after gauging your lover's response.    現在都有大量的相片、影片,故事及影音流通於市面,所以你可以有很多選擇:你愈清楚你想要的,就愈能找你所想,你的伴侶亦可以因此而了解到你的性喜好。  Photos, videos, stories and audio are all available in abundance so you'll be spoilt for choice: the more precisely you define what you like, the better a match you'll find – and the more your lover will learn about your desires too.    色情的資源可以作為簡單的前戲之用,又或者是作為浪漫一夜的靈感,因此開放你的思想,準備去探索更多,沒有人會知道你將會找到怎麼樣的激情!  Erotic material can be used as easy foreplay, inspiration for a steamy night in. Open your mind, be prepared to explore and who knows what excitement you might find.    “Many counsellors recommend erotic materials to couples looking to balance libidos or spice up their relationships.”   
2021-12-29

釋放你的自由 Set Yourself Free

處理性及情緒的包袱  Dealing with Sexual and Emotional Baggage  差不多所有人都有他們的包袱,但無論你過去發生什麼事,你絕對有能力控制你的未來。當你處理了你的包袱,你將會如釋重負。以下是一些普遍的例子:  Almost everyone has some baggage but no matter what happened in your past, you control your future. By dealing with your baggage, you'll take a weight off your own shoulders. Here are some common issues.  承諾恐懼症:你可能在成長之時,在兩性關係之中有過很差的經歷,並認為在愛情之中受到傷害。可能你曾經試過心碎,令你覺得自己並不值得再為愛而痛苦,因此你認 為不需要陷入兩性關係之中——很多人都很享受單身。但如果你經常墮入愛河,但當一旦投入又會抽身而出;又或經常給對方帶來負面的情緒,你的問題可能會傷害 你自己及其他人。世界上沒有一個神奇的解決方法打開你的心結,但如果你準備好,你可以檢視你過去的關係模式,尋找一種令你愉快的關係方式可以幫助你打開這個心鎖。可是,如果你未準備好,你不必逼迫你自己一定要進入情愛的關係,但你仍然可以嘗試從負面情緒中抽離,檢視令你愉快的模式。假如你對愛並未有心理準備,你應該對你的伴侶坦承;但如果你倆的關係只有肉體關係,記得要保持安全。  Commitmentphobia: Maybe you had a bad 'imprint' for relationships when you were growing up, and learned love can be damaging. Perhaps you had your heart broken and that made you feel as if love isn't worth the pain. There's no need to be in a relationship – many people are happy single – but if you often fall head over heels then withdraw once your love's reciprocated, or string people along without engaging emotionally, your issues may be damaging to yourself and others. There's no magic answer but examining your past for relationship patterns and seeing whether they've made you happy can help you work out your course of action. Don't pressure yourself to have a relationship if you're not ready but try to separate genuine emotions from negative learned patterns. If you're not ready for love, be honest with your partner. However, if it’s only a physical relationship you’re after, remember to always keep it safe.  拋棄問題:今時今日,離婚已是很普遍的情況,但它卻是一種可以感到自己被別人拋棄的感覺。它可以導致其中一方特別黏人、希望依賴對方的一種兩性關係,但諷刺地,你原本是因為恐懼而不希望被拋棄,這樣卻只會將原本愛你的伴侶推開!學習愛護你自己,你將會得到一段開心、健康的關係。  Abandonment issues: Divorce is common nowadays, and is just one thing that could trigger feelings of abandonment. This can lead to clinginess, co-dependent relationships and, ironically, pushing people who love you away to prove your fears have foundation. Learn to love yourself and you're more likely to have a happy, healthy relationship.  自我傷害:如果你不感到你應該被愛,這會很容易自我殘害你的生活,因為你不認為你值得擁有快樂。依賴酒精、毒品及進行會帶來心理傷害的性行為(例如與不信任的人發生性行為)可以反映出你不相信自己的價值。伴侶其實都可以反映出究竟我們是如何看待自己,所以自我的憎惡感可以導致負面的關係。  Self-sabotage: If you don't feel worthy of love, it's easy to sabotage your life because you don't think you deserve to be happy. Reliance on drink, drugs and damaging sex (such as sex with people who are unavailable) can indicate you don't value yourself. Partners tend to mirror how we feel about ourselves so self-loathing can lead to negative relationships.  包袱有好多形式,但打開它並尋求幫助亦不是一件羞恥的事。如果你發現很難獨自一個人,可以找支持你的朋友及家人傾訴。你必須對自己重覆的關係模式誠實坦白、負上責任(但這不代表當中發生的負面情況是你的錯,但選擇陷入一段差勁的境況卻可以反映你的個人價值),並全心愛護你自己。做一些你享受的事,照顧好你的身體及自己的價值—可能之後你會更快樂、更希望跟從這種生活方式。  Baggage comes in many forms and there's no shame in seeking help unpacking it. Counselling can help if you find it hard alone, as can supportive friends and family. Be honest with yourself, take responsibility for the patterns that you've repeated (that doesn't mean bad things that have happened are your fault, but choosing to stay in a bad situation can be an indication of your self worth) and above all love yourself. Do things you enjoy, look after your body and self-worth – maybe even happily ever after – is more likely to follow.  “Partners tend to mirror how we feel about ourselves so self-loathing can lead to negative relationships.”   
2021-12-29

初體驗 Like a Virgin

    得到性愛的錦囊  Getting to grips with sex    大部人對第一次都很緊張,最普遍的恐懼包括第一次性愛究竟會不會受傷、女性究竟會不會流血、性究竟會不會改變任何事情或關係,以及究竟做得是否正確。  Most people feel nervous about their first time. Common fears include whether it will hurt, if the woman will bleed, if sex will change things and whether you'll get it right.    如果你在你的伴侶面前感到放鬆、喜悅及擁有安全感,你會覺得性愛是享受。溝通、分享你的恐懼及你所關心的事,同時亦為性愛劃下界線(例如我只可以接受陰道性交)可以令性愛更愉快。你愈了解一個人,你愈能減少性愛後關係變調的風險:如果一個人不準備等待,即使對方說愛你,他可能在性愛後便改變一切態度。  If you're relaxed, happy and secure with your partner, you're more likely to enjoy it. Being able to communicate, share your fears and concerns and set boundaries (I'll have sex but only if you use contraception) will all help make sex better. The better you know the person, the less risk you run of them doing a runner after sex: if someone's not prepared to wait, they may be after one thing, even if they say they love you.    前戲,例如口交,或是先用手指觸摸女性的陰道,亦可以令身體作出性愛的準備,令事情來得更暢順。當一個女性被挑起了慾望,她的陰道會產生潤滑分泌,同時她的 肌肉亦會放鬆,這會令男性的陰莖更容易進入。如果男性擔心早洩,在前戲的過程中先射精一次可以令他在性愛進行之時更持久(但如果你的手沾有精液,在佩戴衛 生套之前請先洗手。)  Foreplay, such as oral sex or playing with the girl’s vagina will prepare your bodies for sex making it better for both of you. As a woman gets aroused, her vagina lubricates and her muscles relax, easing entry. If a guy's worried about squirting too soon, coming during foreplay can help him last longer during sex (but wash your hands before putting on a condom if you get semen on your hands).    第一次性行為亦有可能導致懷孕及感染性病毒,所以請每一次性愛都使用衛生套,最理想是同時使用其他避孕方法,例如避孕藥。男性與女性都需要為安全性行為負上責任:準備兩個衛生套比沒有準備的好。如果你擔心第一次使用衛生套,在真正性愛先自己嘗試一下戴上衛生套的感受,可以令你熟習這種感覺。衛生套有不同的尺寸,找一個適合你的尺寸會令你的性愛完全不同。  You can get pregnant and/or contract a Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI) the first time so use a condom every time you have sex – along with additional contraception, such as the pill ideally. Both men and women share the responsibility for safe sex: better to have two condoms than none. If you're worried about using one, practice alone beforehand to help you get used to the sensation. Condoms come in different sizes and getting one that fits you best can make a difference to having sex.    “Mutual trust, affection and respect will help make losing your virginity the happiest memory possible.”    把一切事情都慢慢來——你可能發現女性在上主導的體位令性愛的過程來得最容易,因為她可以跟從她個人的步伐,作出令她感受最好的韻律。性愛時,就讓女性主導她的步伐,至少在一開始的時候,忘記快速、深入的前進。慢慢的與溫柔的步伐可以減低流血及不適的感覺。  Take things slowly – you may find it easiest if the woman goes on top as that way she can take things at her own pace. Let the woman's body open up to the penis at its own pace – forget fast, deep thrusting, at least to start with. By going slowly and gently, you'll reduce the chances of discomfort or bleeding.    潤滑劑亦可以有助第一次性愛,雖然女性陰部乾涸可以是女性對性愛未作好準備的訊號,你可以在任何時候說「不」—— 即使已經開始了性愛的行為。如果你明白了自己未作準備,不要害怕對你的伴侶提出,你的第一次是一些永遠難忘的東西。互相的信任、愛意及尊重會令你的第一次成為最開心愉快的回憶。  Lubricant can also help, though if the woman's vulva is entirely dry it may be a sign that she's not ready for sex. It's OK to say no at any point – even once you've started having sex – so if you realise you're not ready, don't be scared to tell your partner. Your first time is likely to be something you remember forever. Mutual trust, affection and respect will help make losing your virginity the happiest memory possible.   
2021-12-29

滑行在一些令人舒適的東西 Slip Into Something Comfortable

衛生套:實例   Condoms: The Facts      衛生套與女性衛生套是唯一一種能夠避免感染性病毒的避孕方法。它們有不同的尺吋、味道及類型,有些更可以幫助男性延遲高潮,又或者提高二人的快感。  Condoms and female condoms are the only forms of contraception that protect against STIs. They are available in different sizes, flavours and types, and some can be used to help delay a man's orgasm or increase pleasure for both of you.    適當使用衛生套其實很容易,經常把衛生套存放在一個罐子裡或專用的衛生套盒子比你把它放在錢包裡為好,因為後者很容易刮花衛生套;同時亦要閱讀衛生套包裝內的指引及檢查有效日期。  It's easy to use a condom properly. Always carry condoms in a tin or condom case rather than your wallet or bag, as otherwise you could damage them. Read the condom pack instructions and check the expiry date.    無論是你或是你的伴侶都可以戴上避孕,但在此之前請先洗手:這能夠保持衛生套清潔;另外,如果你們曾經用按摩油或者其他油膩的東西,請先清洗油脂,否則油脂可以令衛生套破損。  Either partner can put the condom on but wash your hands first: this helps keep things hygienic and, if you've been playing with massage oil or anything else fatty (ice cream…?) it removes oils that might otherwise cause the condom to break.    進入之前先把衛生套戴上,你便可以在前戲時安全盡情做到你心目中的慾望(不過不要等得太久,你也不想你的衛生套因為太乾而掉下來。)  Put the condom on before you get down to it, so you can writhe away safely to your heart's content during foreplay (don't wait too long though – you don't want the condom to dry out).    隨包裝的鋸齒邊緣撕開。小心你的指甲、牙齒與尖銳的東西如珠寶、身體上其他銳利的東西 一一 你不想撕破、損壞衛生套。  Tear the wrapper open from the serrated edge. Watch out for fingernails, teeth and sharp objects like jewellery and body piercings – you don't want to tear / rip the condom.    檢查衛生套的卷邊是否對外:否則它就是對內。如果你不確定,輕輕向衛生套內吹一下,它會輕微地翻開,這會令你更容易辨認那一邊才是對外的一邊。  Check the roll is on the outside: otherwise it'll be inside out. If you're unsure, blow lightly into the condom and it will unroll slightly, making it easier to spot which way is the right way round.    擠出衛生套頂端的空氣,確保那裡沒有積存空氣;同時﹐佩戴衛生套的時候,按住衛生套的頂端﹐套在陰莖頂部,以另一隻手捲入陰莖內。  Squeeze the condom teat so there's no air trapped inside, and, still squeezing the teat, put the condom on the top of the penis and roll it down with your other hand.    如果你感覺到在性行為時衛生套捲出,馬上把它捲回。如果衛生套脫落,停止動作,將衛生套除下,並重新佩戴新的衛生套。  If you feel it start to roll back up during sex, roll it down again immediately. If it comes off, stop what you're doing, pull it out by the open end and put a new condom on.    男人高潮後﹐當他的陰莖仍然勃起,按住衛生套底部並抽出。除下衛生套後,打結,然後用紙巾包上,棄置到垃圾筒內。(不是拋到馬桶內 一一 想一下大自然,它是不能被溶解的)  Once the man comes, and while the penis is still erect, hold the condom by the base and withdraw. Then take it off, knot it, wrap it in a tissue and throw it in the bin (not down the toilet – think of the planet)    千萬不要再次使用已經用過的衛生套:如果你認為你們將會整晚纏綿,就準備足夠的存貨吧!  Never re-use a condom: if you think you're in for a long night, go adequately equipped.    “Never re-use a condom: if you think you're in for a long night, go adequately equipped.” 
2021-12-29

掃除性愛的尷尬 Shying Away From Sex?

建立性愛自信 Building Sexual Confidence 我們很容易假設每個人在自己的睡房都能夠感受到安全感,但卻有不少人對於性是感到不安及懷有很多疑慮。即使是小小的行動,仍然有很多方法可以提高你的性自信。 It's easy to assume that everyone is confident in the bedroom except for you, but in reality, most people have some insecurities or concerns about sex. Though it may take a little work, there are easy ways to boost your sexual confidence.   誠實一點:這不代表你要向你的伴侶顯示所有缺點,只是當你感到尷尬、緊張及不安的時候,你應該告訴你的伴侶,令對方不會不自覺強迫你走出你的安全區域。 Be honest: That doesn't mean listing everything that you think is wrong about yourself to your partner, but instead telling your lover if you feel shy, nervous or insecure so that they don't push you beyond your comfort zone.   自我認識:如果你不清楚自己需要,也就很難在伴侶面前有自信。你的需要不必局限於具體行為上,幻想也可以助你體驗不同的性角色,實不實行也是你的選擇。 Know yourself: It's hard to be confident with a lover if you don't know what you want. And don't just think of it in a physical way. Fantasising can help you explore how comfortable you are with different sexual roles. Whether you make them come true is entirely up to you.   尊重伴侶:學習男性或女性基本的構造,並詢問你的伴侶的喜好。你不必需要懂得讀心術或體操能手也能做到一個好情人── 關注你伴侶的感受(與你自己的)便是最佳情人。 Be informed: Learn the basics of male or female anatomy and ask your lover what they like. You don't need to be a mindreader or contortionist to be a great lover – just care about your partner's pleasure (and your own).   遮掩:如果你對暴露身體的某部份感到尷尬,你首先不要在壓力底下將該部位裸呈相見。在早期的階段,身上保留衣服蔽體並不是錯誤,你可以與伴侶慢慢建立信任,慢慢將自己向伴侶呈現真實的一面。不過,不要將這個方法視作唯一解決尷尬的方案:這只是一個簡單的途徑去助你建立足夠的自信,將自己的裸體呈現於人前。如果你的伴侶希望與你有性行為,對方會喜歡他所看到的,你大可以放心,不必感到尷尬。 Cover up: If you're insecure about a particular part of your body, don't put yourself under the pressure of getting naked at first. There's nothing wrong with keeping a few clothes on during early make out sessions: you can reveal yourself gradually to a lover, as you build trust. However, don't see this as a permanent solution: it's simply a step in the road to help you build up your confidence enough to get naked. You can rest assured that if a lover wants to have sex with you, they like what they see.   穿衣:重申一次,這只是慢慢建立信心的一個過程,而不是終極的解決方案。有些人在穿著性感的內衣,或戴著眼罩,會更能開放自己。這似乎是有點奇怪但的而且確,不同的服裝可以幫我們去定義及扮演某個角色。所以,這是其中一個最簡單方法令我們減少尷尬,增加自信。 Dress up: Again, this is a step along the road rather than ultimate solution, but some people find it's easier to be sexual if they get dressed up in sexy lingerie, or even wear a mask (think Venetian masked ball rather than George Bush). It may sound silly but clothes help us play roles, and acting as if you're sexually confident is one of the easiest ways to become sexually confident.   令自己更健美:運動及健康生活不止令你看來更美麗,而且你會感覺到更容易恢復情緒。更美妙的是,與你的伴侶一起運動,你倆的安多芬都會提升,令你倆更感快樂正面,及精力充沛。 Get fit: Exercise and healthy living don't just make you look better – you'll feel more emotionally resilient too. Better yet, exercise with your lover so you both benefit from pumping endorphins and extra stamina.   ​Self love helps build sexual confidence
2021-12-23