怎樣打破性愛沉悶
How to fight sexual boredom
從我們所收到的問題裡，其中一條最普遍的問題是：如何才可以令我們的關係保持甜蜜熾熱？在童話故事中，男女主角的結局總是「從此快樂地生活下去」，但來到現實，大部份的情侶都掙扎於「保持長時間的熱情」這一困擾上，大家不如嘗試以下的技巧，將沉悶掃走吧！
One of the most common letters sent to problem pages is, 'How can I keep the spice alive in my relationship?' While 'happily ever after' is a lovely fairytale ending, in reality, most couples struggle to keep things passionate long term. Try these techniques to help blast boredom away.
關注自己需要。很多人全情投入一段關係，會先照顧對方的需要，但其實你也要好好照顧你的需要﹗雖然這樣似乎在違反直覺，但過份緊張對方，很可能令對方感覺困擾，對關係造成很大的壓力。如果你是開朗、獨立及令人安心的，你將會更有魅力。
Look after your own needs too. Many people absorb themselves into a relationship putting their lover's needs first. While it may seem counter-intuitive, this can be a massive turn off, and make a lover feel trapped. If you're happy, independent and secure you'll be a lot more desirable.
照顧你的愛侶。在關係的初期，愛侶會取悅彼此，當你蠃得對方的芳心後，我們就很容易把事情變得理所當然。大家可以嘗試討你的愛侶歡心，無論是對對方的一個稱讚、送對方一份花心思的小禮物、為對方按摩雙腳等等，都能令對方感受到你的愛意。
Look after your lover. In the early days, people tend to woo each other. Once you've 'won' your partner's heart, it's easy to take it for granted. Seduce your lover, whether with praise, small thoughtful gifts, foot rubs or whatever else makes them feel good.
提升活力。性慾的減退往往與生活方式有關。一起運動令血液運行，也令你更適合性愛運動。
Be active. Loss of libido is often linked to lifestyle. Exercising together will get your blood pumping and make you fit for the job.
提升健康。不良的飲食習慣、過份飲酒、藥物（合法和非法的）、缺乏睡眠及缺乏健康的身體狀況都能使性慾下降。
Be healthy. Poor diet, drinking, drugs (legal and illegal) lack of sleep and general lack of fitness will all make the libido flag.
多點接吻。大部份的關係一開始經常接吻，但隨著時間就會變愈來愈少。當你接吻的時候，你自己個人與愛侶的費洛蒙更為接近── 一種性吸引的化學物質，能夠引起你倆的性慾。
Kiss. Most relationships start with a lot of kissing but this often wanes over time. When you kiss, you are bringing yourself up close and personal with your partner's pheromones – sexual attraction chemicals; which will boost desire.
顯示自己。精心的打扮自己，就彷如首次約會一樣；還有那性感的內衣。
Show yourself off. Pamper your body so you're as well-groomed as you were in those first dates – and flaunt it in flattering undies.
混合情趣。關係的早期，情侶都樂意發掘情趣；但當了解對方的喜好後，一切情趣很快便成為例行公事。你倆可多嘗試新的體位、玩具、不同前戲技巧，為尋常的規律注入新鮮。
Mix it up. Couples tend to explore a lot in the early days but once you've found what works, it can be easy to get stuck in a rut. Try new positions, toys, different foreplay techniques or introduce a bit of kink to the equation: or indeed, all the above.
改變角色：很多情侶在性行為時，總是有一方習慣當主動的角色，一方則是被動角色。你倆可以嘗試交換角色── 如果你平常是主動的一方，你可以鼓勵你的愛侶先作主動；如果平日是由你愛侶作主導，你則反過來向他先進攻吧﹗
Change roles: Many people fall into being either the active or passive partner in sex. Swap places – if you usually initiate sex, urge your lover to make the first move. And if your partner leads the way, pounce on them instead.
分享性幻想。美妙的性愛包括了身體的歡愉和大腦的想像，因此嘗試分享你倆的性幻想吧！
Share fantasies. Great sex involves the brain as well as the body so engage yours.
多點浪漫。性與愛總是相連的，你愈愛你的愛侶，在性事上，你愈能坦白。記住這一點，他的性愛生活將會一天比一天更好！
Be romantic. Sex and love work together. The more you know your lover, the more sexually honest you can be. Remember this and there's no reason sex shouldn't get better with every passing day.
“Try new positions, different foreplay techniques or introduce a bit of kink to the equation”
