性趣的50 陰影  

Introducing kink into your relationship 

 

有些人很滿足於「單純的愛」,只做基本的行為,但亦有很多人對「奇想」很好奇,可以由服飾扮演,到綑綁式,到肛交及其他。 

While some people are perfectly happy with 'vanilla' sex – just the basics – many people are curious about kink from dressing up and bondage to anal play and beyond. 

 

對非普遍的性愛好奇並沒有錯,亦沒有人可以批評你的性幻想。可是,如果你要分享你的幻想,你應該先慢慢來。如果拍打對方的屁股可以令你興奮,在性愛時先問問對方是否可以讓你這樣做(在這樣甜蜜的時刻,對方可能更容易答應),你亦可以由此看看對方的反應。如果你喜歡綑綁式性愛,開始時問對方能否在性愛過程中綑綁著你。如果你喜歡服飾扮演,你可以於網上給他看看這種服飾,及詢問對方的感覺。 

There's nothing wrong with kink and no one should judge you for your fantasies. However, start slowly when it comes to sharing your desires. If spanking sets you aflame, ask your lover for a slap on the bum during sex – it can often be easier in the heat of the moment – to test their reaction. Should bondage appeal, start by asking your lover to pin you down during sex. And if you like latex, show them an outfit online and ask what they think 

 

情色故事是一個能夠喚起你慾望的好方法。為你的情人購買一本性感的書籍,內容包含了你想要的特別的性愛方式,並叫對方將他們喜歡的情節顯示給你知道,又或朗讀出來。 

Erotic stories can be a great way to communicate your desires in a subtle way. Buy your lover a sexy book that includes the kink that turns you on, and ask them to show or read you the bits they like (if any) out loud. 

 

相反,如果你有信心你的愛人有開放的思想,那你就直接一點問對方有沒有一些他想嘗試的新主意及告訴你的想法。細心聆聽你愛人所求,不要批評及考慮一下令他們的幻想成真(假設你對對方的幻想並不反感),你會發現你的特別喜好亦將得到正面的回應。 

Alternatively, if you're confident that your lover will be open minded, be direct. Ask if there's anything new they'd like to try and tell them what appeals to you. By listening to your lover's desires, being non-judgmental and considering making their dreams come true (assuming you don't find their kinks a turn off), you're more likely to get a positive response to your own penchants. 

 

在進行不同類型的特別喜好 (綑綁、控制、施虐及被虐)前,先與對方訂一些安全字詞,這些字詞需要確保在性愛時不會用到(很多人在進行這些性愛時會用「不」或「停」當作一種趣味)。很多人選擇以交通燈的紅色代表停止;黃燈代表慢一點;綠燈代表繼續。 

Before any form of BDSM (bondage, domination, sadism and masochism), however mild, set a safe word. This is a word you wouldn't usually use during sex (some people like to use 'no' and 'stop' during kinky play as part of a 'scene'). Many people opt for a traffic light system with red meaning stop, amber meaning slow down and green meaning 'go for it'. 

 

玩樂時要保持安全、講求理智及雙方的同意。這個意思是你需要參考多些安全守則(差不多所有不同類型的性愛玩意在網上都有安全守則)。如果你的伴侶受酒精或藥物影響,你就應該停止進行這一類性愛,而只探索一些你們都同意的方式。 
Keep play safe, sane and consensual. This means reading up more on any safety guidelines (almost ever kink has safety info online), avoiding doing anything while either partner is under the influence of drink or drugs and only exploring things that you both want to. 

 

如果肛交令你不適,可以使用多些潤滑劑、進行得慢一點,以及謹記要確保安全。只要得到雙方的同意,男性及女性都可以從中享受,因此不要害怕探索另外一個不同的洞穴。 
If anal play gets you off, use lots of lube, go slowly and make sure you keep it safe. Both men and women can enjoy it, as long as there is mutual desire to do so.  So don't feel bad about exploring different roles. 

 

這一類特別的愛好可以是一個美妙方式,去加添你與伴侶的激情、感覺更親密、更包容及更信任。以正確的方法去認識它,你會無法想像它會帶你到甚麼境界! 

Kink can be a wonderful way to add spice to your relationship, building intimacy, acceptance and trust. Approach it in the right way and who knows where it might lead.