處理性及情緒的包袱
Dealing with Sexual and Emotional Baggage
差不多所有人都有他們的包袱，但無論你過去發生什麼事，你絕對有能力控制你的未來。當你處理了你的包袱，你將會如釋重負。以下是一些普遍的例子：
Almost everyone has some baggage but no matter what happened in your past, you control your future. By dealing with your baggage, you'll take a weight off your own shoulders. Here are some common issues.
承諾恐懼症：你可能在成長之時，在兩性關係之中有過很差的經歷，並認為在愛情之中受到傷害。可能你曾經試過心碎，令你覺得自己並不值得再為愛而痛苦，因此你認 為不需要陷入兩性關係之中——很多人都很享受單身。但如果你經常墮入愛河，但當一旦投入又會抽身而出；又或經常給對方帶來負面的情緒，你的問題可能會傷害 你自己及其他人。世界上沒有一個神奇的解決方法打開你的心結，但如果你準備好，你可以檢視你過去的關係模式，尋找一種令你愉快的關係方式可以幫助你打開這個心鎖。可是，如果你未準備好，你不必逼迫你自己一定要進入情愛的關係，但你仍然可以嘗試從負面情緒中抽離，檢視令你愉快的模式。假如你對愛並未有心理準備，你應該對你的伴侶坦承；但如果你倆的關係只有肉體關係，記得要保持安全。
Commitmentphobia: Maybe you had a bad 'imprint' for relationships when you were growing up, and learned love can be damaging. Perhaps you had your heart broken and that made you feel as if love isn't worth the pain. There's no need to be in a relationship – many people are happy single – but if you often fall head over heels then withdraw once your love's reciprocated, or string people along without engaging emotionally, your issues may be damaging to yourself and others. There's no magic answer but examining your past for relationship patterns and seeing whether they've made you happy can help you work out your course of action. Don't pressure yourself to have a relationship if you're not ready but try to separate genuine emotions from negative learned patterns. If you're not ready for love, be honest with your partner. However, if it’s only a physical relationship you’re after, remember to always keep it safe.
拋棄問題：今時今日，離婚已是很普遍的情況，但它卻是一種可以感到自己被別人拋棄的感覺。它可以導致其中一方特別黏人、希望依賴對方的一種兩性關係，但諷刺地，你原本是因為恐懼而不希望被拋棄，這樣卻只會將原本愛你的伴侶推開！學習愛護你自己，你將會得到一段開心、健康的關係。
Abandonment issues: Divorce is common nowadays, and is just one thing that could trigger feelings of abandonment. This can lead to clinginess, co-dependent relationships and, ironically, pushing people who love you away to prove your fears have foundation. Learn to love yourself and you're more likely to have a happy, healthy relationship.
自我傷害：如果你不感到你應該被愛，這會很容易自我殘害你的生活，因為你不認為你值得擁有快樂。依賴酒精、毒品及進行會帶來心理傷害的性行為（例如與不信任的人發生性行為）可以反映出你不相信自己的價值。伴侶其實都可以反映出究竟我們是如何看待自己，所以自我的憎惡感可以導致負面的關係。
Self-sabotage: If you don't feel worthy of love, it's easy to sabotage your life because you don't think you deserve to be happy. Reliance on drink, drugs and damaging sex (such as sex with people who are unavailable) can indicate you don't value yourself. Partners tend to mirror how we feel about ourselves so self-loathing can lead to negative relationships.
包袱有好多形式，但打開它並尋求幫助亦不是一件羞恥的事。如果你發現很難獨自一個人，可以找支持你的朋友及家人傾訴。你必須對自己重覆的關係模式誠實坦白、負上責任（但這不代表當中發生的負面情況是你的錯，但選擇陷入一段差勁的境況卻可以反映你的個人價值），並全心愛護你自己。做一些你享受的事，照顧好你的身體及自己的價值—可能之後你會更快樂、更希望跟從這種生活方式。
Baggage comes in many forms and there's no shame in seeking help unpacking it. Counselling can help if you find it hard alone, as can supportive friends and family. Be honest with yourself, take responsibility for the patterns that you've repeated (that doesn't mean bad things that have happened are your fault, but choosing to stay in a bad situation can be an indication of your self worth) and above all love yourself. Do things you enjoy, look after your body and self-worth – maybe even happily ever after - is more likely to follow.
“Partners tend to mirror how we feel about ourselves so self-loathing can lead to negative relationships.”
