得到性愛的錦囊 

Getting to grips with sex 

 

大部人對第一次都很緊張,最普遍的恐懼包括第一次性愛究竟會不會受傷、女性究竟會不會流血、性究竟會不會改變任何事情或關係,以及究竟做得是否正確。 

Most people feel nervous about their first time. Common fears include whether it will hurt, if the woman will bleed, if sex will change things and whether you'll get it right. 

 

如果你在你的伴侶面前感到放鬆、喜悅及擁有安全感,你會覺得性愛是享受。溝通、分享你的恐懼及你所關心的事,同時亦為性愛劃下界線(例如我只可以接受陰道性交)可以令性愛更愉快。你愈了解一個人,你愈能減少性愛後關係變調的風險:如果一個人不準備等待,即使對方說愛你,他可能在性愛後便改變一切態度。 

If you're relaxed, happy and secure with your partner, you're more likely to enjoy it. Being able to communicate, share your fears and concerns and set boundaries (I'll have sex but only if you use contraception) will all help make sex better. The better you know the person, the less risk you run of them doing a runner after sex: if someone's not prepared to wait, they may be after one thing, even if they say they love you. 

 

前戲,例如口交,或是先用手指觸摸女性的陰道,亦可以令身體作出性愛的準備,令事情來得更暢順。當一個女性被挑起了慾望,她的陰道會產生潤滑分泌,同時她的 肌肉亦會放鬆,這會令男性的陰莖更容易進入。如果男性擔心早洩,在前戲的過程中先射精一次可以令他在性愛進行之時更持久(但如果你的手沾有精液,在佩戴衛 生套之前請先洗手。) 

Foreplay, such as oral sex or playing with the girl’s vagina will prepare your bodies for sex making it better for both of you. As a woman gets aroused, her vagina lubricates and her muscles relax, easing entry. If a guy's worried about squirting too soon, coming during foreplay can help him last longer during sex (but wash your hands before putting on a condom if you get semen on your hands). 

 

第一次性行為亦有可能導致懷孕及感染性病毒,所以請每一次性愛都使用衛生套,最理想是同時使用其他避孕方法,例如避孕藥。男性與女性都需要為安全性行為負上責任:準備兩個衛生套比沒有準備的好。如果你擔心第一次使用衛生套,在真正性愛先自己嘗試一下戴上衛生套的感受,可以令你熟習這種感覺。衛生套有不同的尺寸,找一個適合你的尺寸會令你的性愛完全不同。 

You can get pregnant and/or contract a Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI) the first time so use a condom every time you have sex – along with additional contraception, such as the pill ideally. Both men and women share the responsibility for safe sex: better to have two condoms than none. If you're worried about using one, practice alone beforehand to help you get used to the sensation. Condoms come in different sizes and getting one that fits you best can make a difference to having sex. 

 

Mutual trust, affection and respect will help make losing your virginity the happiest memory possible. 

 

把一切事情都慢慢來——你可能發現女性在上主導的體位令性愛的過程來得最容易,因為她可以跟從她個人的步伐,作出令她感受最好的韻律。性愛時,就讓女性主導她的步伐,至少在一開始的時候,忘記快速、深入的前進。慢慢的與溫柔的步伐可以減低流血及不適的感覺。 

Take things slowly – you may find it easiest if the woman goes on top as that way she can take things at her own pace. Let the woman's body open up to the penis at its own pace – forget fast, deep thrusting, at least to start with. By going slowly and gently, you'll reduce the chances of discomfort or bleeding. 

 

潤滑劑亦可以有助第一次性愛,雖然女性陰部乾涸可以是女性對性愛未作好準備的訊號,你可以在任何時候說「不」—— 即使已經開始了性愛的行為。如果你明白了自己未作準備,不要害怕對你的伴侶提出,你的第一次是一些永遠難忘的東西。互相的信任、愛意及尊重會令你的第一次成為最開心愉快的回憶。 

Lubricant can also help, though if the woman's vulva is entirely dry it may be a sign that she's not ready for sex. It's OK to say no at any point – even once you've started having sex – so if you realise you're not ready, don't be scared to tell your partner. Your first time is likely to be something you remember forever. Mutual trust, affection and respect will help make losing your virginity the happiest memory possible.