將幻想轉為現實 

Turning fantasy into reality 

 

差不多所有人都有性的幻想-從欣賞愛人穿著絲襪與吊襪帶,到一些比較複雜的情景諸如配合性玩意的性愛。一些幻想最好放在心中(例如希望與伴侶的好朋友來一次集體性愛),但分享你的一些誘惑的慾望可以使你倆的關係更為緊扣。 

Almost everyone has sexual fantasies of some description, from seeing a lover in stockings and suspenders to more complex scenarios with kinky accessories galore. While some fantasies are best kept to yourself (group sex involving your partner's best friend…) sharing some of your more intimate desires can be a great way to bond with a partner. 

 

和伴侶以俏皮的文字來分享你慾望;又或者分享一些有點色情意味的資訊或玩意,一樣達到同樣的效果。無論你用任何一種方法,先由你最低程度的性幻想開始﹐然後再根據你伴侶的反應再作下一步。 

Communicating your desires with your partner can take many forms: if you're too shy to talk face to face, exchanging saucy texts, chatting over the phone or instant messenger, or sharing erotic materials can all broach the subject. Whichever method you choose, start with your mildest fantasies and work your way up based on your lover's reaction. 

 

一個尊重別人的伴侶是不應該批評你所分享的幻想,但是不同的人喜歡不同的事,因此不能保證你倆會有同一喜好與想法。如果你的伴侶拒絕你的主意,不要指責他們又或者生氣,相反,應該尋找中間點,又或者考慮交換性幻想:我滿足你的,你也滿足我的。 

While a respectful lover shouldn't judge you for sharing your fantasies, different people like different things and there's no guarantee you'll both want the same things. If a partner rejects an idea, don't blame them or sulk: instead, see if there's any middle ground – or consider trading fantasies: I'll do yours if you do mine. 

 

如果你決定你要實行你的性幻想,你必須確定你已知悉安全守則,以及考慮一切有可能引發的情緒及身體上的反應。一些性幻想,你應該把它們只在腦海中實現。 

If you decide to live out your fantasy, make sure you're familiar with any safety guidelines, and consider the potential emotional as well as physical effects. With some fantasies, you may decide to use them to inspire talking dirty but leave it at that. 

 

同時,你亦要考慮到你伴侶的反應,因為他們只想希望嘗試一些東西,但不代表他們必定能從中得到享受。不要讓你的慾望令你變得自私,過份強迫你的伴侶滿足你的個人慾望。相反,如果有些事情你真的不願意進行,不要覺得你有義務滿足對方的性幻想。你應該要誠實,尊重對方及不要過份武斷,這會使你忽略了自己的需要。 

Also, consider your partner's reaction. Just because they're willing to try something, it doesn't mean they'll necessarily enjoy it: don't let your arousal make you selfish and over-ride your lover's desires in favour of your own. Conversely, don't feel obliged to say yes to something you don't really want to do. It's better to be honest – without being disrespectful or judgemental – than ignore your own needs. 

 

實現性幻想可以很有趣,但假如事情不如你所預期,你可能會發現想像中的美好被現實打破。想一想你是否願意冒著隨時失去你美好的想像而去令你的幻想實踐出來。 

Living out fantasies can be fun but if things don't go to plan (or even if they do, sometimes) you may find the power of the fantasy fades in the light of reality. Think about whether you're willing to risk losing a surefire arousal builder for the chance to make your dreams come true. 

 

如果你還是決定將你的幻想中實現,將事情慢慢來及先觀察你伴侶的反應。如果對方對你的行為不感興趣,那就應該停止,及不要將你的幽默感留下。放鬆、坦承地溝通與誠實是重點,為你的性愛生活帶來全新的局面。 

If you decide you still want to make your fantasy come true, take it slowly and check your partner's reaction throughout. Stop if you see they're not into what you're doing – and don't leave your sense of humour at the bedroom door. Relax, communicate clearly and be honest and who knows, you could add a whole new dimension to your sex life. 

 

Start with your mildest fantasies and work your way up based on your lover's reaction.