Using erotic inspirations together
Now, more than ever before, there's a wealth of erotic material available to enjoy. While some people are anti porn, there's no need to watch anything exploitative in this day and age. There's plenty of material available that's ethically produced, sex positive and reflects real sex rather than porno stereotypes. And that's before you even take into account the glut of home-produced films that people willingly share online every day.
The stereotypical view suggests that men get off on visuals and women get off on words, but while it's true to say that modern erotic novels have a mass female following, research has shown women get just as aroused by visual depictions of sex as men do. Conversely, many men enjoy reading erotic stories. And if you like the idea of hearing not-so-sweet words whispered in your ear, there are countless erotic audio books and podcasts available, covering almost every kind of sex you could imagine. Of course, you can always read each other erotic bedtime stories too – though there's no guarantee they'll lead to a good night's sleep…
Many counsellors recommend erotic materials to couples looking to balance libidos or spice up their relationships. However, it's worth discussing with your partner first: suddenly revealing a porn playlist or your secret fetish may not be well received. Talk about the sort of things that you both enjoy, or browse together online taking it in turns to type in search terms if you're too shy to talk about it out loud. As with sharing any fantasies, it's best to start off with the milder end of your desires and only work your way up to your wilder preferences after gauging your lover's response.
Photos, videos, stories and audio are all available in abundance so you'll be spoilt for choice: the more precisely you define what you like, the better a match you'll find – and the more your lover will learn about your desires too.
Erotic material can be used as easy foreplay, inspiration for a steamy night in. Open your mind, be prepared to explore and who knows what excitement you might find.
“Many counsellors recommend erotic materials to couples looking to balance libidos or spice up their relationships.”